09 November, 2006

Soldier injured in "hari kari" rocket attack.

A solider, just relaxing after his return from Iraq, shoved a rocket up his arse and lit the blue touch paper in a failed attempt to launch it. An old Taliban trick maybe? Anyway, orbit was not achieved but much pain was. Probably not as much pain as his mates will give him back in camp.

The Times tells us that,

...safety experts warned yesterday that launching a rocket from the backside is a practice that contravenes the Firework Code.
Humourless sods. These days everything contravenes some code or other.


The Northern Echo (hat-raise to arrse) has the video.

From arrse:
The approved method of butt-cheek launch requires a piece of silver foil to be laid over the arse cheeks. A hole at ricker position is made and a plastic "sabot" should then be inserted. This prevents ricker-clench on launch, which obviously can be quite dangerous and permits a smooth exit, withouth splinters or sparks. The angle of launch can be varied but it is generally agreed that touching one's toes provides the best angle of departure. If you want to go high angle, and get an amazing sight then bend fully forward and take a peek upward between your legs. Wear goggles or specs to protect from eye-damage.

This works a treat and I and my colleagues at St Chad's college Durham can verify that on November 5th 1983 I launched a rocket from my arrse at the Principal's house, where it lodged and burned satisfactorily in the guttering. Strangely enough i left very shortly after that and joined the Army without completing my PGCE. For which any parents with children born between 1972 and the present day should be grateful...

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